Monday, May 18, 2020

The balance between internal chaos and external calm- A love story

I used to be my favorite until I met you फिर ज़िन्दगी बदल गयी

I started tasting different feelings, smiling like crazy, blushing in front of the mirror, and sobbing for no particular reason. The girl who was always in a rush of perfection fell completely for imperfection. Uff! Those mixed feelings! Am I in love? Can I ever love someone? Ohh no! He is not even fulfilling my criteria of a perfect partner.

Many times I consoled myself for “NO” to him but I was automatically pushed towards him and then there I was helpless. OMG! I have changed. My priorities shifted from sleep to text, I was happy having his favorite flavor of ice-cream and had an SMS pack for the first time in life. He was assumed to love, he was assumed to be polite, he was assumed to be the best and yes he was. Much more caring that anyone could ever think. For me, it was the last thing I wanted. Well, fell for his care  ज़िन्दगी सच में बदल रही थी

Gradually I started swimming in the river of love leaving everyone behind. I went so ahead that I couldn’t realize how deep it was. No one was there to hold me and take back. I was dying and all alone. Once it was taking up my breath. I closed my eyes to give up. और ज़िन्दगी फिर से बदल गयी…

I remain unconscious for long. When I open my eyes, I found myself alone, lying on the broken bed of reality. I smiled and walked towards shores again, ज़िन्दगी को एक और बार बदलने

Year’s passed, everything changed. I learned to live without him I learned to smile again. Still, something is missing. Do I miss you? Really, No, I just miss our memories.

I was thinking it my home but it was just a house, a house full of your lies and my dreams.

You never gave me respect and you said you love me.

You never tried to understand me but said you can feel me.

You never considered me and you told me you were mine.

You never made me smile and you said you care for me.

You never ever stood for me and you called me your family.

You never even noticed changes in me but called me your priority.

No dear, it’s not the fair way of being together.

I may not deserve love but dude I definitely deserve respect.


The balance between internal chaos and external calm- A love story

21 comments:

  1. Self-love is most important and only we could love ourselves the way we wanted to be loved and nobody else could.

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  2. I felt me in this .... And this so amazing the journey between Loving someone more than ourself and turning into only self love ... #just_amazing

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  3. Nyc line and honourable to you. Looking different life changes your line is so important

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  4. शब्दो पे इतनी अच्छी पकड़ इस बात की ओर ईशारा करता है कि आपके लेखनी मे दम हैं।

    #Ahmad ali

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  5. This is love ,you can't run from it..Mixed feeling ....Some time at top of best some time top of worst..

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  6. Awesome post sakshi. If you want love, provide love to those people who need it instead of chasing that person who is toxic for you. This will make you feel more happy and peaceful mentally, spiritually and physically.

    Try to help as many people as you can and try to spread happiness to wven those people also who are neglected. It will helo you become more happy and least alone. Stay happy sakshi .

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  7. Wow...what a beautiful way with you puted your feelings....it shows that how deeply you know the concept of love.....

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  8. Beautifully explained.

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  9. This balance between internal chaos and external calm is something we all need to maintain

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  10. Well written��

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  11. Love the way you express yourself mam.

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  12. Sakshi u r verry strong women....you don't have too chasing your love....for you my dear need a verry strong man too hndle ur strong personality n ur fighting sprit for your life journey is more important than any cheesy soo called love....n m always says that u r true prsn n ur blogs n ur wrds r really soo interesting n sometime excited tooo soo my dear keep it up ❤️❤️❤️

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  13. Awesome. The way you are writing your article. I would fall for your writing
    Thank you for such wonderful words of heart

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  14. It's so poetically detailed. Awesome writing!

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  15. It is heartbreaking to see so many people out there in search of love when all they get is lie and deceit. But those with fake concern and care aren't aware of our inner strength of character and how defiant we can be when we stand for ourselves. I am glad you showed the same strength and moved on with your life leaving the naïve one behind. Thanks for sharing

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  16. In beautiful way you explained about your feelings 👌

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