The unannounced last day of college- GLA UNIVERSITY

When we come out of college, we are not the same person who walked in. That's what this college life is all about. College brings about unlimited changes which the school never did! True or not guys?

When I was in school, I never thought of joining a college that will be located in another state. While leaving school, I left everything, I had. For once I thought I am going to miss school badly but today when I turned back I realized that the best life came from college and the best friendship as well.

While my admission procedure was going on, someone told me that GLA University cannot be defined in words; it is something to be felt, to be lived, and to be experienced. Well, he was right! How could someone define the gorgeous parks witnessing so much of the funny moments, tall buildings holding a taller pile of memories, amazing hostel life, heart-melting night talks, and Maggie at 2 am?

Well the story started in August 2016.

Being at a new place especially without friends and family was something that was terrifying me. But I had to face that circumstance. I didn’t know whether to act confident or show that I am actually worried inside. I was happy, nervous, excited, calm, worried, and whatnot? Packed with the mixed feeling, I stepped into the campus. Such a big place it was! I looked surprised. A place where everyone was unknown, it was tough to survive!

Hey, you make friends easily, you are bold, you are the same girl who went on stage at the very first day of college and faced the crowd of 2000 people in orientation; don’t be scared, I was teaching myself. The thought of being unknown to everyone at a new place was worrying me. On the one hand, I was confident about managing everything well but the other part of me wanted someone to reassure me that I will fit with others.

Between all these chaoses inside, the first day spent well. College was not so bad at all!

A normal evening in the hostel became memorable when a group of girls found a canteen card in the lobby. It had a recharge of Rs.270. They picked it and used it to buy ice-cream, chips, and cold drinks. Soon they came to know that, the girl who had forgotten her card in the lobby was crying. This made them feel bad. But before they decided to apologize, they were exposed. They decided to return the same amount to her, but this whole incident changed into a big fight. I was one of the girls in that group. Haha, there was no denying that I had got my group, full of unity and humanity. Hostel's life started moving well with an amazing roommate, a crazy group, late-night talks, movies, and birthday celebrations.

        

I then started opening up in the department also. While talking to fellow classmates I realized, everyone was worried, and they all were in the situation, this made me feel better. During lunch breaks, a faculty used to scot us to the hostel and again scot us to the department. This was cool! I was relaxed for not being ragged. I felt I finally fitted in; my emotions were at the place now.

Once we decided to have a dance performance in SPANDHAN (annual fest). Shrasti guided us with choreography. From funny steps to difficult stunt, she taught us everything. Unfortunately, due to some accident, we could not perform, but still, those days of practice were amazing.

After passing time, I discovered college life is not just about lots of assignments, exams, and peer pressure. Though the bitter truth is academics but a large group of friends who party together heals the pain of assessments. We started hanging out together, spending lots of time in the canteen, asking parties for no major reason, supporting each other during exams. I still remember the cake which was eaten less and wasted more. From introducing each other to knowing the darkest secrets we made a journey together. Playing skits, copying assignments, helping in exams, gossiping behind the slab in labs, we accepted each other more with every passing day!

It was 6th March, at 10 am; Friday morning.

It was the last day of college, before Holi vacation. Our whole batch got suspended for playing colors. Well, we didn’t stop playing even after suspension. Nobody knew it was the last time, we were together dancing in dirty rainy water, singing, clicking thousands of pictures. I am happy that we got suspended that day, at least one last day we were all together in one frame, in one place, and in the same mood. After all, this was the last year of our college life.

We had so much planning, so many dreams we had! But who knew, during the days of our college we will be separated this way. It’s our bad luck that we neither collected old memories nor lived that last moment together. Those memories, that time, that college, that canteen, that classroom, we are definitely going to miss. Using mobile during class time and gossiping until kicked out will be missed. How we continued sharing foods and clicking pictures in the lab. We planned so much for our farewell but we didn’t get that either.

I did not think that I would like college and enjoy it as much as I am, but I do, and I am so glad that I decided to give it a try and so should you!!

 

  

Thank you for reading.

 

In the fight with depression, you are not too alone to give up

After a long abusive and scary live-in relationship with Rohan, Radha finally decided to leave. Unfortunately, she did not leave alone; she realized that she was carrying his twins in her womb. Since she is not married yet, she decided to keep it a secret. 

                                           

She withdrew all the ways to the outer world and locked herself in a small home. Days passed according to the calendar but she was still stuck in the past.

It’s been 15 months, she has not slept properly, did not eat healthy either, and could not talk to anyone. Her children are of 6 months and are damn naughty. They never let her take rest or communicate with people. They mostly stay together, even if not, she knew one will shortly follow the other. Sometimes she wonders if she would have never chosen Rohan, she feels restless, tired, alone, and helpless. Days passed in taking care of her boys. Now she is so used to the children around that she feels incomplete without them but when they are with her, she feels the burden and wishes if she could leave them also like she left Rohan. But this was practically not possible!

They used to eat up all the food and still cry because of hunger, sometimes they hit her hard and torture like hell. As they were growing up, she was losing control over them. She gave them everything she had to engage them at home.

I forgot to tell you the names of her boys. The names are depression and anxiety. She never knew they will start eating her like this. She cannot get rid of them. The kids cry constantly, yell loudly, and try to make her feel guilty of not pampering them. They never let her think of her own. The shame of having these unwanted children is the fact; every one among five people in the world is suffering. They feel weak and suicidal. They don’t want to share that they are having 2 monsters in the form of children. Especially when they know they cannot control them. When the children cry, they need to play music loud so that nobody could hear their voice. They put thick, dark curtains to separate them from society’s eye. They are busy worrying about society judging them for having these kids. They keep an eye on children so that they cannot disturb the living of others. They isolate themselves, wanting to be alone with them.

               

                                     

The children soon take over everything in their life; eat up dreams and hopes, making them feel helpless and unwanted. They take up all their time. People who come over, they push them away because they don’t want anybody to see the real, the pathetic side of them. The pain and shame take control of their life. The things they once enjoyed then become pointless. The children ruin their beautiful houses and they still try to hide them from everyone. They don’t want to trouble anybody and this is exactly why they hide. Lastly, they finish their life to finish their suffering.

Well, Radha too tried to take up her life but luckily she failed. She just wanted to have a day without the kids or when she could control them. 

One clear morning, kissed by the sun, Radha finally decided to keep a nanny to take care of these children. She thought the worst is over. She felt she could sleep now and see dreams again. The nanny (who can be friends, mentors, relatives, doctors, or a perfect stranger) started handling them well. Things are getting better for Radha.

Well, we all have a Radha around us, who is depressed and need to be helped. So please check around and try to be the nanny of her. Trust me; you will be proud of yourself for saving a life

The balance between internal chaos and external calm- A love story

I used to be my favorite until I met you फिर ज़िन्दगी बदल गयी

I started tasting different feelings, smiling like crazy, blushing in front of the mirror, and sobbing for no particular reason. The girl who was always in a rush of perfection fell completely for imperfection. Uff! Those mixed feelings! Am I in love? Can I ever love someone? Ohh no! He is not even fulfilling my criteria of a perfect partner.

Many times I consoled myself for “NO” to him but I was automatically pushed towards him and then there I was helpless. OMG! I have changed. My priorities shifted from sleep to text, I was happy having his favorite flavor of ice-cream and had an SMS pack for the first time in life. He was assumed to love, he was assumed to be polite, he was assumed to be the best and yes he was. Much more caring that anyone could ever think. For me, it was the last thing I wanted. Well, fell for his care  ज़िन्दगी सच में बदल रही थी

Gradually I started swimming in the river of love leaving everyone behind. I went so ahead that I couldn’t realize how deep it was. No one was there to hold me and take back. I was dying and all alone. Once it was taking up my breath. I closed my eyes to give up. और ज़िन्दगी फिर से बदल गयी…

I remain unconscious for long. When I open my eyes, I found myself alone, lying on the broken bed of reality. I smiled and walked towards shores again, ज़िन्दगी को एक और बार बदलने

Year’s passed, everything changed. I learned to live without him I learned to smile again. Still, something is missing. Do I miss you? Really, No, I just miss our memories.

I was thinking it my home but it was just a house, a house full of your lies and my dreams.

You never gave me respect and you said you love me.

You never tried to understand me but said you can feel me.

You never considered me and you told me you were mine.

You never made me smile and you said you care for me.

You never ever stood for me and you called me your family.

You never even noticed changes in me but called me your priority.

No dear, it’s not the fair way of being together.

I may not deserve love but dude I definitely deserve respect.

A young girl in athletics- Sports at GLA University

When the whole university was getting crazy for gym and body building, a first year student heard the word ATHLETICS for the first time. What is this? She was thinking continuously. Yes she knew about basketball, volleyball, badminton, football etc, but this new term seems interesting. Within a minute she went to coaches’ room to inquire. She asked multiple questions within some seconds. What do people do in athletics? What will I get from it? What is the scope of this sport in India? Well she got all the answers and that moment she decided to start running.

Wait, wait! Let me introduce you to her. It’s Sakshi Mishra, in GLA University, Mathura. It was the first week in girl’s hostel and all the coaches came to inspire people. So, finally I got registered and started running. I had many options 100m race, 200m, 400m, 800m, 1500m and many more. I eventually started exploring, making new friends, learning new tricks, jogging hard and what not. Time passed, it was the day of competition. Well at end of the day, I was disappointed as I got last or second last position instead of being cheered a lot! I felt lost in crowd.                 

It was full moon night, I was gazing the moon wandering what positive or negative changes I acquired in this University. I realized all the positive changes were due to sports. Oh shit! Why didn’t I realize this earlier, I hugged the jersey I got from university. Oh God! They trusted me while giving this to me, they made me part of inauguration ceremony. How could I back off now?  No, I should continue.

         

                                                   

Time passed on, its day of competition again but this time I returned with 2 silver medals and 1 gold. Gradually I started loving all these, ground, those people, coaches, inspiration, discipline and most of all medals. Yes. Now I have 28 of them, I am progressing.

Clearly, I was neither the ultimate winner ever nor the best but I was appreciated and loved like winners. I am still not best but I tried learning and I am still learning a lot from coaches, seniors, juniors and the ground. I allowed myself to be a beginner, because nobody starts being excellent. This is the magic of sports; this is the magic of GLA.