I wasn't prepared for it, but the universe knew what I was lacking!

Part 1: Pre-marriage anxiety

My marriage was a super shock for me. A rollercoaster of emotions that people would never believe in! 

As a girl who hates responsibilities, cannot stay at home for long, doesn't really like cooking, and wakes up late and messes up the room, I was sure my marriage wouldn't last long. I have always been outspoken and straightforward, which doesn't go well in a joint family. Moreover, I knew that the feminist in me couldn't adjust to a patriarchial environment no matter how hard I try!

I'd always thought that being single for life would be the best for me because I didn't want any disturbance in my lifestyle or affect my freedom. I wasn't ready for the marriage and couldn't be prepared. I wasn't willing to leave my comfort zone, restrict myself, or compromise my career. Moreover, I have always been a giving person in my relationships, but some failed relations broke me terribly. Being a self-centered person who could never compromise, I knew I would get stuck and end up choking myself in turmoil called responsibility. 

Well, not everything goes as per plan. Let me tell you how it went.

It was a lockdown, and we had to vacate the hostel. I was happy inside as I got non-vegetarian food at home, which I usually don't get in the hostel. I booked the tickets and went home happily. There was a different feeling this time. One of my friends texted me, "it seems like you are going forever; I feel you won't return to the hostel," and I kept thinking about his text. I reached there on 19th January, and by 24th January I was informed that I am getting married on 11th of next month. Literally after 15 days!! 

Everyone was excited, and I had no option of backing off. I knew nothing about that man I was about to marry. I didn't even know his name correctly. I sometimes felt anxious, and it took me multiple days to console myself.

07-02-22. It was tilak day, and the wedding functions formally started. I could already feel changes in me, emotional, behavioral, and whatnot! It wasn't easy.

11-02-22. I hadn't slept for 4 consecutive days and hadn't eaten properly for long. I was nervous. It was a bunch of emotions I was feeling at the same time. In the evening, at 10 o'clock, when I walked down the aisle, I saw him for the first time. I was literally shivering when he asked for my hand while walking through the stairs (he was nervous too). Our very first eye contact happened on the stage itself. I saw him smiling, though I knew he had the same confusion and questions as mine.

I was looking at things with a constant thought that this was not what I wanted and not how I wanted, and he was not the one I wanted. I tried to run away but I couldn't! With every ritual, I felt like drowning and coming out, again and again, struggling for every breath. At a point, I got numb, it just went with the flow, and I couldn't do anything for myself. 

So finally, the functions were completed, and we married (I slept in between the rituals). I had to go to his home and accept everything I was about to have. Damn! It was difficult. I felt like living my most haunted dream. I wanted to come out of it and breathe deeply. Anyway, I had to face everything with darkness all around. I saw everyone clapping and enjoying while I was shouting silently, and helplessly.

Well, generally, this type of thing ends up being a nightmare, but in my case, this was the beginning of a journey that ultimately came out to be very beautiful. 

Part 2: Post-marriage changes

I entered this relationship most chaotically, with 100s of questions and 1000s of confusion. The very first hour at his home felt like sitting in a room full of people with a blank stare and not a single thought in head but hearing everything going on around and being too exhausted to respond to any of it or climb the staircase with no end or hating skin for no reason or what not!

After a few helpless stares, I asked him if he wanted to marry or if he was pressured. As he said he wasn't prepared too, I was relieved. I then had a series of questions, and the one doubt both of us constantly had was, can we make it to the end, or we will get separated soon? Well, after a week, we got our answers. 

On the 10th day, I had to return to my hostel to complete my study. I thought I would be delighted to return to my everyday life, but that was not the case. This stranger, who happens to be my husband, made so much effort that I couldn't resist giving him a chance. He is sweet; he came out to be super caring, lovable, and understanding too. We gave it a try, and it worked. I had thought my marriage would take away everything I had. But on the contrary, it gave me everything I lacked!

It wasn't easy, but we tried to sort it out and promised to continue sorting...! 

I love you, always, forever! 

"Anand Anmol," Thanks for being an excellent partner. 

"Kajal Thareja," Thanks for being so loving and supportive.

"Aryan Khetan," Thanks for being there at odds.

"Siddharth" Thanks for listening to me, always. 

A step closer towards serenity- Kusum Sarovar, Govardhan Hill, Mathura

When was the first time you heard about Mathura? It was probably in your childhood when you were reading one of those iconic Amar Chitra Katha books, depicting the stories of Lord Krishna. Or it was your grandmother, who told you bedtime stories about little Krishna and his endearing pranks? In all those stories, a name came up – Mathura, his birthplace. Back then, Mathura never felt like a place to you; it, on the other hand, felt like a character, living and breathing and full of life.   

Mathura boasts a rich cultural heritage that is woven through hundreds of legends and myths. It is undoubtedly regarded as one of the seven holy cities by Hindus all over India. Even in this modern age, the charm of Mathura continues to lure visitors from all parts of the country and beyond. And what makes this sacred city a hot favorite among tourists? The answer is pretty simple – the enticing milieu of sacred temples, religious structures, landmark monuments, and serene ghats lend Mathura a surreal beauty that is hard to find in your regular tourist destinations.

One such beautiful place is Kusum Sarovar.

Kusum Sarovar is a sacred water reservoir surrounded by a medieval sand monument. 

It is located between the Manasi Ganga and Radha Kund on the famous Govardhan Hill in the Mathura district of Uttar Pradesh, India. 

Kusum Sarovar is acknowledged as one of the holy sites where Hindu deities Radha and Krishna performed their rituals. Kusum Sarovar has Narada Kund, where Bhakti Sutra verses were written by Narada, and the Shri Radha Vana Bihari Temple in the vicinity.

Historical belief

 

Kusum Sarovar was a natural pond until 1675 when it was professionally built by Orchha's monarch, Veer Singh Deo.  In 1735, King Veer Singh of Bundelkhand, Madhya Pradesh, ordered the restoration of this place. The area around this place was rebuilt by King Suraj Mal.  In commemorating his father Raja Suraj Mal, King Jawahar Singh of Bharatpur erected a sandstone monument in the backdrop of Kusum Sarovar in the mid-eighteenth century.

 

"A Handbook for Visitors to Agra and Its Neighbourhood," by Henry George Keene, published in 1878, describes Kusum Sarovar.

"On every side of the reservoir that fronts it, handsome landing-places run out into the still water with deep and wide staircases between; a venerable banyan tree shades the south side, and sends its pendant shoots towards the water… The spot is singular in its repose, silence, and irregular charms."

— Henry Geroge Keene

The most divine love story- Radha Krishna Legend

 

Kusum Sarovar dates back to the era of Radha Krishna.  It is a site surrounded by flowers and Kadamb trees, as the name says. Radha is supposed to have come here under the guise of picking flowers for her companions, but instead met Krishna and had lively chats with him.   According to mythology, Radha's dress became trapped in thorns while collecting flowers, and Krishna, dressed as a gardener, came to Radharani's rescue and freed her dress from the thorns. On this historic spot, Krishna is reportedly said to have played hide-and-seek with his companions and collected flowers for Radha's garlands.

 

Architecture

Kusum Sarovar Ghat

Kusum Sarovar Ghat is a 450- foot- long, 60- foot- deep tank in Kusum Sarovar. The pond’s ghats (banks) have a Rajasthani design. A series of steps climb upward from all four corners of the Kusum Sarovar to the historical edifice built by King Jawahar Singh. Around 60 meters deep are the arcade walls that surround the pond. The pond, filled with emerald green water, is surrounded on all sides by a forest that offers a multitude of flowers.

Monumental structure

 

The historical monument was built in commemoration of King Jawahar Singh's parents. The main tomb, dedicated to King Suraj Mal, is positioned in the center of the colossal edifice and covers an area of 57 square feet. There are two other historical constructions on both sides of this tomb that are considerably lesser in size. These tombs were built in honor of King Suraj Mall's two queens, Kishori and Hansiya.

The whole structure is supported by a 460-foot-long terrace and a pavilion that serves as a protective cover for both corners of the structure.  Inside the tomb, the architecture and sculpture are in the perforated stone style. The cenotaphs' ceilings are embellished with magnificent murals depicting Radha Krishna's divine pastimes and happenings at Maharajas Suraj Mal's court. The edifice also includes a copy of Lord Krishna and Radha's lotus feet.

 

Why should you visit Kusum Sarovar? 

Kusum Sarovar is a popular tourist destination in the Braj region. Visitors travel across the state to see the majestic structures that enclose the Sarovar (pond) and the exquisite murals representing Krishna's life and his adventures with Radha. Radha Krishna is said to have performed numerous pastimes here. During his time in Vrindavan, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, a Vaishnava saint and a renowned devotee of Krishna, liked to visit this pond. Kusum Sarovar was also known as Suman Sarovar during the reign of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. It is stated that anyone who bathes in the Kusuma Sarovara pond will gain pure Krishna's love.

Visiting time

Everyday - 6:00 AM to 6:00 PM.

Ways to relax when you feel stressed and instantly feel happier - Healthy living guide

It’s tough; it’s definitely tough to smile through a heavy heart. Sometimes when you try, you eventually burst into tears. The spiking cases of anxiety, and depression, and the casualties due to this large-scale disaster shows it’s not something you can get over so easily, you need time, people to cheer you up, efforts and determination.

Depression is like sitting in a room full of people with a blank stare and not a single thought in your head but hearing everything going on around you and being too exhausted to respond to any of it or you are climbing the staircase with no end or hating your skin for no reason. Anxiety feels like a heavy object is on your chest while your mind revolves through days and days of events in 10 seconds then around again, you’re too agitated to try to make sense when you don’t cry at hard times or persistent feel emptiness.

It’s horrible. Isn’t it? Well yes! It’s just that we don’t understand the intensity until we feel it on our own.

Moreover, I love the fact that the world has become more aware of mental health over the last few years after being neglected for a long. That we can find out if the COVID-19 anxiety is getting to us and we try to figure out ways to calm ourselves. 

If each of us starts sharing our experiences, tips, and tricks, it may support someone who is still not able to find a way out of this never-ending circle of depression.

Me, Myself and I 🙋

The time I started calling my friends, spending time with family rather than watching multiple Netflix series one after one, and started practicing yoga. I felt like happily breathing after a long gap. My mind felt refreshed and my body experienced a divine kind of energy. So here is my toolkit for the lockdown anxiety-

1. Limit your news/media exposure - Stay updated but avoid negative pieces of information.

2. Plan activities with your family - Cook, Play, Paint, Plant.

3. Stay connected - With your loved ones.

4. Relax and Meditate- If you try just one 30 minutes session I can promise you that you’ll notice a difference for sure.

The Benefits of yoga👍

1. It’s a great way to strengthen your body and core.

2. It’s an excellent stress reliever.

3. It can be done anywhere.

4. It’s a good way to learn how to connect with actual you.

5. Yoga practices are fun and none competitive.

6. Best of all it can be fine anywhere at any time.

I thought of compiling some easy yet effective poses for my lovely readers. Instead of detailing the points, process, and benefits, I have attached a picture of each pose to give you a glimpse of the correct pose 👇

1. Mountain Pose (Tadasana)

2. Sitting Mountain pose (Parvatasana)

3. Legs- Up- the- Wall- Pose (Viparita Karani)

4. Knee to Nose Dog Pose (Adho Mukha Svanasana)

5. Standing Backbend Hands-On Wall Pose (Anuvittasana Hands-on Wall)

 

6. Sideways Bending Pose (Konasana)

7. Pigeon Pose (Kapotasana)

8. Warrior Pose 1 (Virbhadrasana 1)

9. Warrior Pose 2 (Virbhadrasana 2)

                             

                                                                   

10. Warrior Pose 3 (Virbhadrasana 3)

11. Reverse Warrior Pose (Viparita Virbhadrasana)

12. Cat pose (Chakravakasana)

13. Wide-legged-forward-fold-to-tripod-headstand (Prasarita-Padottanasana-to-Sirsasana-ii)

14. Bound Angle Pose (Baddha Konasana)

15. Bridge Pose (Setu Bandha Sarvangasana)

16. Camel Pose (Ustrasana)

17. Plank Pose (Phalakasana)

18. Corpse Pose (Savasana)

19. Wide-leg Standing Forward Fold (Prasarita Padottanasana)

20. Child's Pose (Balasana)

21. Cobra pose (Bhujangasana)

22. Downward Dog Pose (Adho Mukha Svanasana)

23. Bow Pose ( Dhanurasana)

24. Half- Moon Pose (Ardha chandrasana)

25. Staff Pose (Dandasana)

26. Chair Pose (Utkatasana)

27. Seated Spinal Twist Pose (Matsyendrasana)

28. Seated Lotus Pose (Padmasana)

I am sure you will feel better after practicing these simple poses. They stretch, lengthen, and balance the muscle and give a sense of relief to all those anxieties by quieting the mind and concentrating on your breathing. 

Here's my youtube channel you can subscribe for more updates on health and yoga

https://youtu.be/sy3BgEBm4m4

In case you try them, you can leave a note in the comment section. Every time I see such responses, it’s like getting a little gift. I love hearing from you, having bits of advice, and opinions. Thank you for stopping by🙏